It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.-Charles Darwin
Sometimes you may feel tempted try to re-establish what you have lost, wanting to find some semblance of normalcy after a huge life change. This is a mistake! When you find your life has been cracked and broken beyond repair… when it has been shaken to its very foundation… it is primed for a new beginning.
What you lost is gone now, but that doesn’t mean that you need to desire the same thing. What you lost had its flaws. What you lost had inefficiencies, frustrations, and deficits. What you lost was NOT perfect. Now that it is gone, you have a chance to CORRECT the things that were lacking. Do not settle for something similar to what you already had. You may have been forced to make a change you didn’t want to make, like it or not. Don’t overlook the fact that you were given this perfect and golden opportunity to make your life BETTER than it was before.
First things first. It can be horribly depressing to walk into the front door of your home and see everything exactly how it had always been, except for that ONE piece that is now missing… it emphasizes and magnifies the missing piece. There it is, looming right in your face day after day. Don’t let this be! Most people don’t find themselves financially able to relocate, but if you can, MOVE to a new home.
Start fresh. If you can’t up and move, at least change every aspect that you possibly can. If you have a house, now is your chance to CHANGE it for the better. Move every piece of furniture. Take every picture off of every wall and swap it for pictures from other rooms. Change window dressings, add throw rugs, move the television, drive in a different direction on your way to work and other daily habits…. Change EVERYTHING! If you have kids who have their own rooms, swap them around completely. It will be good for them too, since they can see that you are accepting and embracing the concept of change, and that IT’S OK. It may seem like change just for the sake of change on the surface, but really, it’s a chance to reset your perspective. It is a transformation, and, like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly, you and your family will be coming out of this more beautiful, stronger, ready to spread your wings into the wind and take off!
Now that everything in your visual field is different, you are off to a great start! Sit down and write a list of everything you always wanted to do. This is different than a bucket list, like traveling to Italy or going skydiving. Instead, list all of the things that you personally expect from yourself in this lifetime. Consider that you have all of the power over the choices in your new situation. Did you always think you would have a specific career? Did you always want to own your own home? Did you always want to have a college degree? Did you always want to own and operate your own business? Your list will be specific to you and you only. Do NOT list things that other people wanted you to do, what they though you would be good at, or what others expected of you… This is 100% about you. You are going to make some plans for your future in your new surroundings without any old objections holding you back, because EVERYTHING has CHANGED and YOU are going to CHANGE RIGHT ALONG WITH IT!
Don’t bog yourself down with details. You don’t need to plan out how you are going to accomplish everything right now. You are just going to bring your personal goals for a better future into clear focus in your mind. Imagine what it will feel like when it is accomplished! Having goals in mind will help you sort out how you’re going to take your life and rebuild it in the direction of those goals. From the foundation up, brick by brick, you now have a chance to build your life as you have always imagined it should be!